When your children are born you imagine that one day with your loving and nurturing care they will grow up to be Noble Prize winning authors, eminent surgeons, you know pillars of society types! Then gradually your ambitions for them start to disentegrate and you realise that all that really matters is that they grow up to be happy and in this one's case... we are doing our best to prevent him from spending some time at Her Majesty's Pleasure. Yes we have a two year old delinquent Chez Pirate.
Vandal? Check! Indeed, this one has a future career as a graffiti artist. Most significant crime? He walked up the hall with a purple crayon and left a line running the length of the hall and the very large, rather expensive painting hanging in the hall? Yes, went straight over the top of that too.
Thief? Check! Twice now we have found him harbouring stolen goods in his pram. He lunges for anything in reach and then hides whatever takes his fancy. We now have to search him and the pram before leaving any shops.
Identity theft? Check! He raided my purse and ran off with the drivers licence. Who knows what he was planning to use it for? When we finally found it, he had somehow snapped it in half. The mind boggles just thinking about it!
Here he is perfecting his break and enter techniques. Note the collection of tools at his feet:
Hmmmm.