Driving home after dropping his Father at work:
Captain: Can I have car lessons?
Me: What do you mean? (Distracted and concentrating on annoying Sydney peak hour traffic)
Captain: You know, to drive the car.
Me: Driving lessons? What! No, certainly not! Not until you are 16 and 9 months.
Captain: Why?
Me: Because the people that make the decisions about who drives cars and when have decided that that is the safest time to learn how to drive.
Captain: How many years until I am 16 and 9 months?
Me: Umm, a lot of them.
Captain: Can I have two birthdays this year?
Me: What? No!
Captain: But then I can go in the Tour de France sooner and learn to drive cars!